i agree with almost everyone in a way! also you dont want your daughter seeing guys in and out of your home. Not knowing what your relationship with him is, I would advise you to let it go. GOD LUCK!!! In my case, my girls remember their dad (especially my oldest), and they periodically ask about him. when he found out i was pregnant he stopped all communication and didn't reply to any of my emails, texts, calls etc. (He's an alcoholic, and they know this about him.) one thing to remember if it does come up though or if he shows back up in her life, do not bad mouth him to your daughter, even if he is in her life and worhtless there is a chance that as her father he will end up on this pedistool and bad mouthing him will only make her resent you, if he does come back around let her make her own desicions in regards to what she thinks of him and feels about him. They'll get it on their own sooner or later. He has 4 great kids of his own, and he has eagerly accepted the role of "dad" to my girls as well. Last weekend, my oldest daughter spontaneously started listing all the good things about him. In the meantime, I agree that you don't need to force the conversation. Look at it as sort of a blessing in disguise. Just let her know that he made a choice (maybe he wasn't mature enough to be a dad)and you raised her yourself according to that choice. I have no clue where he is living, nor do I have a phone number. Anyway, I tell them that their daddy loves them, but he isn't well enough to be a good dad to them. Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. A one-night stand it may have been. I don't want her to be hurt, or blaim herself, or feel bad about herself, but how can I prevent any of this when he did basically abandon her? M., My parents (who are divorced) have been a huge part of her life. (Just as: as a cyclist I hate dangerous, rule-breaking bike riders probably more than most drivers do because they give us cyclists a bad name.). Just to see what my son remembered, I showed him a picture of his real dad....I asked him who it was....he said grandpa. Let her know that you will always be there for her, no matter what. They spend a lot of time with her. With my daughter....her father was present through the first year and then vanished...he came back into her life when she was 5 and then left again when she was eight. If you want to talk more, feel free to email me at [email protected]____.com. You can't bad mouth the other parent all you can do is try to give an explanation for your exes behavior. If you are looking to give feedback on our new site, please send it along to, To view this site properly, enable cookies in your browser. If your boyfriend got you pregnant (be it accidentally or otherwise) and now wants nothing to do with the child, but his name is listed on her birth certificate as her father, I would go to court and sue him for child support. How should I handle cutting off financial support to an adult family member? He has not seen, or called to see how she is in months. Meaning, find a way to contact him, request he gives up parental rights. Great! Enough said. Yeah, sure, but why does she have to make these types of decisions while he’s popping bottles in the club? My advice to you is always be honest. Here's an example of what I mean: I'm engaged to a wonderful man who has been in our lives for about 2 years now. Just because they say they want nothing to do with baby, or the baby is not theres and there name doesnt get put on the birth certificate does not mean they are not the father. But my best friend advised me to give him a chance and, long story short, I’m now five months pregnant with his baby. He even pays child support every week, but still has had no interest. Just something to consider. It is important ...when she asks...that you tell her how she came into this world and who her father is. But he’s told me he wants nothing to do with the baby and advised me to get it terminated. he avoided me my whole pregnancy and i didn't see him once. I, of course, feel horrible about this because I cant imagine anyone treating her this way and it tears me up. I'm also on myspace at myspace.com/jaekin2. She never came/comes to see them. Why is the burden on her, just because she gestates the child in her womb? In some jurisdictions, he can be compelled to take a DNA test. However, I have no advice on this because my daughter is only 1 month old and I was wondering that whenever you do decide to tell her if you could send me and let me know what you did, because I am going to have to do the same thing with her. If you need to talk, feel free to e-mail me [email protected]____.com Luck!! And normally the laws of spousal support depend on you living together a number of years, usually at least three. Your child will be hurt and blame herself, that is the hard part especially for you.

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